My department head and I had words last Monday. I cried during the entire conversation but managed to say most everything I needed to. She hasn't been nasty since t hen and I only have 9 days of school left.
Lurch sent me a text today and said that he and a friend came over Saturday night, but I did not answer the door. I am happy that he actually thought of me.
This weekend I get Jabber Box Friday and Sunday night. If Bio-mom does not get her, I will keep her the entire weekend.
Music Man is wonderful. I have fallen for him - big time.
Life is Good!
Monday, May 20, 2013
Monday, May 13, 2013
Freedom is not free
During a conversation with a coworker I mentioned that the past year has been challenging. She said, "I thought everything was going great." If I thought my life had to be without difficulties to be happy, I would never enjoy life. Apparently challenges = misery in her book.
In the process of gaining my freedom I had to make some sacrifices. I gave up my home, some good toys, some family heirlooms, and lost my relationship with Lurch. A friend of 28 years dumped me like a hot potato when I left Handy Man. Handy Man kept me from Jabber Box for 45 days of hell last summer.
In the past year Workout Woman did not speak to me for three months, I had the hysterectomy/reconstructive surgery, and I paid all of Jabber Box's expenses without help from my parents or Handy Man. My car was totaled by a careless teenager and the new car has a higher insurance rate. I have learned to eat peanut butter sandwiches and lots of soup when money is tight. I paid off some medical bills that seemed endless. I have cried myself to sleep more times than I can count.
Was it worth it? You bet your sweet bippy it was and still is. I have a new house to move into with a garage and two bathrooms, fun friends, time with Jabber Jaws, a great boyfriend, loving family, my darling Snuggles, and hope that Lurch will come around someday, God is still in control and provides me with everything I need. :-) So while freedom has a price, it is so worth the cost.
In the process of gaining my freedom I had to make some sacrifices. I gave up my home, some good toys, some family heirlooms, and lost my relationship with Lurch. A friend of 28 years dumped me like a hot potato when I left Handy Man. Handy Man kept me from Jabber Box for 45 days of hell last summer.
In the past year Workout Woman did not speak to me for three months, I had the hysterectomy/reconstructive surgery, and I paid all of Jabber Box's expenses without help from my parents or Handy Man. My car was totaled by a careless teenager and the new car has a higher insurance rate. I have learned to eat peanut butter sandwiches and lots of soup when money is tight. I paid off some medical bills that seemed endless. I have cried myself to sleep more times than I can count.
Was it worth it? You bet your sweet bippy it was and still is. I have a new house to move into with a garage and two bathrooms, fun friends, time with Jabber Jaws, a great boyfriend, loving family, my darling Snuggles, and hope that Lurch will come around someday, God is still in control and provides me with everything I need. :-) So while freedom has a price, it is so worth the cost.
It is a good thing...
that I am a fairly independent woman. Music Man has to work this coming weekend and I will miss him like crazy! I have friends who need to spend every spare waking moment with their significant other. They do not feel their life is worth anything if they do not have a man glued to their side. While my relationship with Music Man has greatly enhanced my life, I will not curl up in the fetal position when his work schedule interferes with out time together. I am not going to panic or worry that he is with another woman. I am going to have a busy weekend: Jabber Box has her final choir concert in the 8th grade on Friday, on Saturday I am going to chaperone the prom, and on Sunday I am attending a surprise 50th birthday party for one of my good friends. Music Man and I will have plenty to talk about when we get to see each other again! I cannot remember a time when I have been this happy. :-)
Friday, May 10, 2013
I want to rant
I want to rant and use foul language and insult my ex-husband, but once again I will refrain. This morning I woke up and discovered that I had 7 Facebook wall postings from Handy Man. Apparently he viewed a photo on Jabber Box's page that I had tagged her in. He was able to make comments on it, which appeared on my page. I deleted the seven comments without reading most of them, and then went into my settings and changed some stuff. Honestly, he will not speak to me about parenting Jabber Box, but feels it is necessary to tell me via text and Facebook how much he loves me and what a good husband he was.
Then today it took three hours and forty-five minutes to get an agreement hammered out regarding visitation, taxes, and Jabber Box's living expenses. All of that for me to get three extra overnights a month and to get him to agree that we split medical, dental, vision, and educational expenses. Supposedly he is going to put Jabber Box on his cell phone plan, but that will be bad for me. He grounds her from it all of the time,which means she never has it when she is with me and I cannot talk to her on the phone when I don't have her. That is why I had to go out and get her a cell phone in the first place, and made it unlimited text and calls. The other agreement is that he will not contact me for any reason other than parenting Jabber Box. No texts, calls or messages about his undying love for me. I will document any that I get from this day forward and may have to file a restraining order.
Is it over? Heck no. He will do his best to keep Jabber Box from talking to me, probably will refuse to pay his part of the expenses, or screw me over and refuse to let her stay with me while he is at work during the summer. I wish he would grow up and do what is right, but I won't hold my breath!
Then today it took three hours and forty-five minutes to get an agreement hammered out regarding visitation, taxes, and Jabber Box's living expenses. All of that for me to get three extra overnights a month and to get him to agree that we split medical, dental, vision, and educational expenses. Supposedly he is going to put Jabber Box on his cell phone plan, but that will be bad for me. He grounds her from it all of the time,which means she never has it when she is with me and I cannot talk to her on the phone when I don't have her. That is why I had to go out and get her a cell phone in the first place, and made it unlimited text and calls. The other agreement is that he will not contact me for any reason other than parenting Jabber Box. No texts, calls or messages about his undying love for me. I will document any that I get from this day forward and may have to file a restraining order.
Is it over? Heck no. He will do his best to keep Jabber Box from talking to me, probably will refuse to pay his part of the expenses, or screw me over and refuse to let her stay with me while he is at work during the summer. I wish he would grow up and do what is right, but I won't hold my breath!
Thursday, May 9, 2013
Anniversary and future fun
Last week Jabber Box and I were driving to school when she asked me how long Music Man and I have been seeing each other. I said I wasn't sure but it must be more than two months. She made fun of me, saying that I should know exactly how long I have been dating him. Apparently teenagers think it is an essential piece of information. I imagine that it is important to her because her "relationships" last a matter of days or at the most a couple of weeks. I promised her that I would look at my calendar and figure it out. The answer is .... three months on May 9th.
Her next question was to ask what we are doing to celebrate our anniversary. :-) I thought it was so cute. I explained that Music Man and I enjoy each other's company every time we are together so every date is a celebration. There really isn't any way to celebrate dating for three months. We eat out, double date, have people over for dinner, drive the countryside, watch movies, tour museums, go to the casino, attend parties, slow dance, listen to heavy metal bands, and get pedicures. We even have fun doing chores together, like washing the car and sweeping it out. Our next adventure is going to my family dinner where he gets to meet my brother and dad for the first time. My sister and her husband, my sister-in-law, and my mom have all met Music Man briefly at my birthday party.
Our future plans include - going to Binder Park Zoo, a day on a beach at Lake Michigan, attending a broadcast of a UFC fight, and going to a NASCAR race. I think we are going to try to do a remodeling project at his house. It will be I interesting to see how we work together. A true test of Music Man's communication skills and patience! LOL. Last night Music Man texted me to tell me that he is planning a summer trip for us- maybe Florida or Vegas. I guess it will be a surprise and I just have to pack summer clothing. :-) What a blast!
Her next question was to ask what we are doing to celebrate our anniversary. :-) I thought it was so cute. I explained that Music Man and I enjoy each other's company every time we are together so every date is a celebration. There really isn't any way to celebrate dating for three months. We eat out, double date, have people over for dinner, drive the countryside, watch movies, tour museums, go to the casino, attend parties, slow dance, listen to heavy metal bands, and get pedicures. We even have fun doing chores together, like washing the car and sweeping it out. Our next adventure is going to my family dinner where he gets to meet my brother and dad for the first time. My sister and her husband, my sister-in-law, and my mom have all met Music Man briefly at my birthday party.
Our future plans include - going to Binder Park Zoo, a day on a beach at Lake Michigan, attending a broadcast of a UFC fight, and going to a NASCAR race. I think we are going to try to do a remodeling project at his house. It will be I interesting to see how we work together. A true test of Music Man's communication skills and patience! LOL. Last night Music Man texted me to tell me that he is planning a summer trip for us- maybe Florida or Vegas. I guess it will be a surprise and I just have to pack summer clothing. :-) What a blast!
Monday, May 6, 2013
Saturday, May 4, 2013
Sometimes
Sometimes I take a risk and send Emo Man a text. Usually he ignores it, but sometimes he goes on a rant. This week it was a rant. He called me every filthy name in the book, threatened to kill Handy Man's mom, and kill himself. Sometimes I get hopeful that he will seek treatment and live a life better than the tragic, pitiful life he has chosen. Always I am disappointed in his choices and with God because Emo Man not been delivered from addiction and mental illness. I hate that he might live his entire life this way and worry that he might end his own life before it improves... I had so many hopes and dreams for my son.
Friday, May 3, 2013
Stress happens
It must be a natural law that things can only go well for so long and then something crappy has to happen. My department head, Know-It-All, has hated me almost since the day I started working with her. Her moods swing like a wild pendulum from day to day. I have seen her cry, kick chairs, kick a heater in a conference room, and roll her eyes when I speak. She twists my words, and acts as if my ideas and observations are ridiculous. Some days she is immature, goofy, giddy, and unprofessional. Know-It-All assumes the worst of me in every situation. She has always been suspicious.
Five years ago she came to my room to have it out with me and told me that she is jealous of me. She has not repeated that confession, nor has she ever apologized for any of the terrible things she has said to me or about me. There have been many incidents over the past 5 years. Two weeks ago she went on the war path against me with a vengeance. Her latest attack is talking to the administration about me, saying that I am not doing my job. Then she came to me and told me that my job is on the line and that I need to "step it up" and do what I can to save my job. She did this in front of two students. Next she "accidently" sent an e-mail to one of my friends with some insinuating comments about me. I think she did it on purpose to send me a message.
At first I was hurt, then afraid and finally depressed. Today I saw a bible verse on my wall Exodus14:14 "The Lord will fight for you and you have only to be silent." It is probably best for me not to confront or fight back. I got a good review this year from an administrator. I will continue to do my job to the best of my ability and wait for God to defend me. He has taken care of me very well for the past year and I trust that His care will continue.
Five years ago she came to my room to have it out with me and told me that she is jealous of me. She has not repeated that confession, nor has she ever apologized for any of the terrible things she has said to me or about me. There have been many incidents over the past 5 years. Two weeks ago she went on the war path against me with a vengeance. Her latest attack is talking to the administration about me, saying that I am not doing my job. Then she came to me and told me that my job is on the line and that I need to "step it up" and do what I can to save my job. She did this in front of two students. Next she "accidently" sent an e-mail to one of my friends with some insinuating comments about me. I think she did it on purpose to send me a message.
At first I was hurt, then afraid and finally depressed. Today I saw a bible verse on my wall Exodus14:14 "The Lord will fight for you and you have only to be silent." It is probably best for me not to confront or fight back. I got a good review this year from an administrator. I will continue to do my job to the best of my ability and wait for God to defend me. He has taken care of me very well for the past year and I trust that His care will continue.
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