Last night was rough. I wanted to go out and have fun. I actually felt like dancing with a group of friends. However, all of my friends had other plans. Being a single woman is not the ideal situation for New Years Eve. I invited myself to my sister's house to watch a movie. Her hubby was gracious and watched it with us and then I went home so they could bring in the new year without me. ;-) I was in bed by 10:00 or so and read a little bit, texted a little bit and felt like crap. Dang - holidays are tough without my kids or a significant other.
Fourth of July, I sat at home and heard fireworks going off, wishing I was watching them with Jabber Box, some friends, or a boyfriend. Last night I was still awake when the fireworks went off at midnight and I cried. I tried to take my mind off of my sorrows by praying for other people, but then my prayers turned to Emo Man and Lurch and that did not help my mood at all. I don't know how many times I have woken up in the middle of the night over the past few days with a heavy heart. I cannot seem to shake it.
So the title of this post is "greyness" because it feels like a big old grey cloud has decended on me. Hopefully it will lift when I am off of break and back at work. I will have fewer hours alone to sit and brood.
3 comments:
Hello! Just wanted you to know I am thinking about you. I know the Holidays can be so hard. Being married did not cause me to have a great New Years, lol. My daughter had the flu so we just hung out at home - yeehaw. I have a friend who is in the midst of a divorce, but fortunately her children are very loving to her... I sometimes can imagine life without my husband, but can't imagine it without my daughter. Hmm... I am probably not helping! I just want you to know I care, and will continue to pray for you.
I hope and pray that your greyness will lift to allow some light in. I understand - a similar greyness has been dogging me lately as well.
I hope for peace for you - from one teacher lady to another.
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