One thing I noticed about internet dating profiles is all the the men who claim they don't have any "baggage" and are looking for a partner without "baggage." What the heck? People are shaped by the events in their lives and most shaping is done by sad, hard, or tragic events. Reactions to those events my not be logical or healthy but those events and the reactions shape our thoughts and beliefs. I know I have baggage. I know I will not react well to insults or name-calling. I don't know if my reaction will be fight or flight, but I know I will react. The reaction will probably not be mild and most likely overly dramatic at first.
Oh that reminds me - the hatred of drama is the other big topic on dating profiles. I guess that sort of puzzles me. I see teenage drama all day every day. Teenagers make a big deal out of every little thing and want attention for the "injustice" done to them. Adults actually do that? Really? Adults? Well they cannot be well-adjusted, mature, responsible if they need to blow things out of proportion to get attention. However, I know that when life gets complicated and my heart hurts, it is good to have a friend to share my true thoughts and feelings with, and to do so without fearing judgement and condemnation. (Never had that with Handy Man) If that is drama, then I guess I am dramatic.
1 comment:
Oh the joys of internet dating!!
I did THAT for far too long.
And although I met My Guy on a dating site (Plenty of Fish, if you can believe it!), I don't think I would recommend it. I don't know. We have been together 3.5 years so it can work.
But guys are funny and I remember a lot of them wrote the 'no baggage' thing or the 'no drama' thing. What I failed to see was how my ONE rather well behaved child was 'baggage' and the fact that his ex-wife wasn't an EX yet because he wasn't divorced yet, wasn't baggage to him. And he wasn't sure if he was ever getting a divorce! So why are you on a dating site unless he was just wanting some!!!
I guess most would think that baggage is 2 adult children who are always asking mom for money. Or a stalker ex-husband.
Being upset or reacting when someone is mean to you, isn't drama!!
I think the saddest thing on a dating site is how someone looks. I remember chatting with a very nice guy for a couple weeks with really great conversations. I didn't have my photo up but when I finally sent it to him, I never heard from him again. Oh. Come. On. This, from an ok-looking bald guy! Or the ones who when they get a look at you, they say: "I am ready for dating yet." instead of being honest and saying "you just don't do it for me."
I found it extremely irritating that funny looking, bald, pot bellied men are/were so critical of 40-something women.
I ended up writing this LONG profile about EXACTLY what I wanted, what I wouldn't put up with and how I am in a lot of things. It so LONG that it would n't fit and I had to cut it down!!
My person pet peeves were men who wrote nothing or "If you want to know about me, just ask." That is a sign of extreme laziness that I didn't want to deal with!!!!
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